Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pascha 2011 and a new approach

Christ is Risen! I hope everyone had a joyous celebration of Christ's Resurrection. More pictures of our church celebration can be found here.
My handsome hubby and one of our teens hiding eggs for the big hunt!
Simeon and one of our teens hunting for eggs
A posed but beautiful shot, talented photographer!
Our little man

Unless you are really bored, you may want to stop reading here:)
The mom I want to be is calm, doesn't yell unless it is some emergency that warrants it, she prays twice a day plus before meals with her son, she always has some healthy foods prepared, and a relatively clean house. Oh and she is not grumpy after being up through the night with her child. She is patient and mentally present, teaching her son as they encounter life experiences through her day. I really do want to be this mom and I feel like I am closer to being her than I used to be.

One of the secrets to being this mom is prayer, and that is a struggle. How easy it is to be distracted and lazy in this regard.

One thing that I have found helpful for me as a stay at home mom is mommy groups. I have mentioned before that I wish I had gotten involved in La Leche League when Simeon was younger, some of my stay at home isolation would have been relieved. Now I feel like we are kinda graduating that group. I like the other moms there and still enjoy going. Simeon is at a busy age and a little rowdy to be in that type group. Also though he isn't weaned, gasp I do not feel like the group isn't quite as useful to me when we were in the throws of nursing as the sole food source.

So my very good friend Cameron loaned me her attachment parenting book and as I have mentioned before if only I could do it over again I would have implemented some of these ideas. I started reading more Dr. Sears books and now I have a few more attachment parenting books that are so helpful. Daniel is so gentle and sweet natured already, but I have found the suggestions to being a more gentle parent very helpful. I'm currently reading Adventures in Gentle Discipline which I ordered from the la leche website b/c Amazon was sold out. I have a few more on the list to read. With my household chores and mental fatigue it takes a while for me to get through a book.

And then to my delight Jackson has started up an Attachment Parenting Group. I guess you could say I'm sold on attachment parenting, I've seen it work very well for my good friend Cameron who like me doesn't have the most easy going child. I have also seen some changes I have implemented work well for Simeon and I. We have met 3 times and let me say, these meetings have helped my mommy fatigue more than anything else I have done other than prayer.

Some changes for me include
- doing a better job of keeping my cool or avoiding the situation, taking time to help Simeon clean up or just leaving it till I can clean it up. He is doing a better job of cleaning up these days, but sometimes if I know my fuse is short it's better to avoid a blow up than expect more of him than he can give me developmentally.
- no more spankings during diaper changes, diaper changes have always been difficult for us. I wasn't beating him, but it seems like a pop was the only way to get his attention. I'm trying to make it playful and if he does start kicking I just hold him down till I can finish up. These seem to be going smoother and he's not hitting me anymore.
- when there is a tantrum I acknowledge his feelings (frustrations at not getting his way usually) but remain firm on the subject if it's important or meet him in the middle if it isn't a very important matter.
- nap times had gotten ugly and now instead of leaving him screaming in his room, after our routine I "sleep" on his beanbag chair and after he winds down he goes to sleep. The first few days he tried to engage me, but he has learned that mommy is "asleep" on the beanbag so she is not going to converse. It is much more peaceful this way and sweet to be there as he nods off, I have a hard time being patient b/c I'm ready for a break but it seems worth it.

I'm excited for our AP group, it is a method for me to make some positive changes in my parenting style. I think it is an answer to my prayers.

As I have typed this we have had to move from outside playing in the driveway to the bathtub because of a busted knee and stepping in cat poop not once but twice in two different pairs of shoes. Ah real life, I think I could have been more patient. We have had a challenging morning despite a special breakfast date with Ba Ba. Maybe it's the molars coming in causing this whiny behavior. I do have to put myself in his place. It must be hard to have a sore mouth, be asked by your mom in a disappointed voice what you have on your shoes when you have no clue, and not be able to communicate well, not to mention scraping a knee for the 5th time in one week! Putting yourself in your child's place in the heat of an incident isn't easy. Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.